Weird Names, Kidney loss, and Corruption

I have thoughts on many things today. I don't know if I will get them all down, before a bunch of people enter my office and actually want me to work, but let's see how it goes. If this post seems scattered, welcome to the way my brain has been for the last week.

First, I want to make a confession to you all. I have completely sold out to the internet. I am now doing all of the things I thought I would never do. I repeatedly insisted that I would not join Facebook, be someone who twitters, and I have even resisted starting an actual blog for quite some time, opting instead for group emails, and even blogging on myspace. I am now doing all of those things. I have to admit twittering is pretty fun. If you would like to follow me, I am jenjackson15 on twitter. There, the first step is admitting you have a problem...Done.

Okay, let's talk about the Bachelorette. Wow. I don't know if I am gonna be able to stomach Jillian's Canadian accent for the entire season. Ooot instead of Out. Aboot instead of about. Come on. Jason got a personal trainer, and we can't get Jillian someone to help her accent along? Whoever Brad Pitt used for Benjamin Button is available probably, and we could definitely get whoever Leo used as coach in Blood Diamond at a significant discount. Any improvement would be appreciated. Come on, ABC. I am begging here.

Also, a word on the names of the hopefuls: We have a Mathue (pronounced Matthew) and a Kiptyn. If you had named a girl Kiptyn, there is no way she doesn't end up dancing at a strip club or on Rock of Love, possibly both. If you are named Mathue or Kiptyn as guys, I would guess you would either be able to handle yourself in a fight or at the very least know how to take a beating. I guess we will see. Either way, I encourage all of you who are thinking of names for your children, name them with care. Because I think we can all agree that Kiptyn and Mathue are not words that should be anywhere on a birth certificate, and I am including animals in this.

Next up, American Idol final performance last night. I want to go on record that I think Adam Lambert just screams into the microphone, and he is not a pop star, more like an actor playing a bad guy in a musical on Broadway, or even a singer in one of those bars that you stick your head into and immediately leave because you're scared that someone will spike your drink and you will wake up in a bathtub full of ice without one of your kidneys. When he came up from under the stage wearing that long, black coat I thought the apocalypse was upon us. I don't think Kris is going to be a person who will one day make it into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame, but he is more of the pop star this contest proposes to find, isn't he? Clearly, there is a lot of people voting who disagree with me, I just hope that Kris can manage to get one more vote than Adam, and Adam slinks off into the night to sleep upside down or whatever he does when he isn't scaring the hell out of me.

Okay, the fact that I can talk about television that long without getting into the Lost or Grey's finales (Wow on both counts) leads me into the next subject. I am now officially a fat ass. I think I have gained about 700 pounds since I moved here. That is mainly thanks to Reggie and Shelly's cooking, which I still go eat at least a couple of times a week. So what am I going to do about it? Well, I went and looked at bicycles, which I will get eventually. But in the meantime, I got a Wii fit. It is so fun. So I am on the clock for getting more fit. I have already lowered my Wii fit age from 50 (yikes!) to 26. Pretty soon, I won't be old enough to drink whilst on the Wii fit board. More to come on my progress.

Okay, one quick story before I get done and actually do some work while in the office. Monday night, I went over to the Jordans for Bachelorette and food (I told you I was a fat ass). As I am sitting on the couch, Emma (the four year-old) was sitting quietly on the floor coloring. Reggie forgot to change the channel back in time. Jokingly, I said, "Dammit Reggie." And then in her sweet angelic voice Emma said, "Dammit Daddy." And just kept coloring. Needless to say, I am taking Friday off of work to go help Shelly paint at their new house.

Talk to you soon, Internet. Happy Hump Day.